Moving House are not easy

I am currently busy with my relocation plan. My new place is the sort of place that I plan to live for another 10 to 15 years or more if God grant me a long life. Since this is a sort of retirement home for me, so I spend time on each item such as fixtures and lightings. Especially, when I am on a strict budget for it. 

I don't really into the interior so much. The most important is comfort and practical to live with the thought that I am going to be a senior citizen in another 3 years. 

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Every day, busy browsing Shopee and Lazada for the best deal on lightings, fan, aircond, curtain rods and so on. I don't pay any attention to such things in the past years. I was busy working and trying my best to save for my retirement. I don't give a damn about all those things. But lately, I know the type of aircond, material for kitchen cabinet, there are a fan with DC and AC, ceiling lights, wall lights and many more. I even source my own water filter. Obviously, not the expensive monthly instalment or whatsoever filter. 

I am currently, unemployed and not earning any monthly salary. So debt free is the most important factor in purchasing items to ensure I can continue my retirement peacefully. I want to continue working but what to do, everything not according to my plan in my previous job. Getting a new one is not easy as others thought it will be. After what happened in my previous job, I am still overcome the trauma of being dejected. I lost my confidence and still unable to come out from the social phobia trauma. The feeling is like 'used and discarded. It hurt my self-esteem. I am still trying to overcome this issue. I thought I have moved on. In real, I am far from moving on. I am still bitter! I guess it hit and left me with a big cut. I thought have done my best but with the result I received, it seems I am not good enough for others. ** Big sigh** 

Back to my moving house project. I have completed a few office relocation and closing down project successfully. Never thought, handling my own personal relocation is such a big headache. Every day, I will stare at all my things in the house and don't know where to begin. Gosh! I did my checklist and so on and still unable to start somewhere. Every single thing in this house spark joy since it has all my sweet and bitter memories living in this place. 

I was trying to start new in my new place and my plan is to bring over a few possible items from my old house. I am speaking about more than 15 years of hoarding. Gosh! being an accounts person at a young age. I accumulated all the receipts for my spending. Every statement properly file. Some has become trash but to discard all those need time too. I need to properly discard all these papers since it involve my personal data and so on. Haih! currently, all I am doing is to shred the papers. Haih!!!! 

My new place will progress in 3 weeks times. I have confirmed the kitchen cabinet, wardrobe, grill door and auto gate. I had accumulated some of the lightings, curtain rod and park it in the new place. I will get the kitchen cabinet people to help me install those things. I don't do any renovation. Just do the basic things that hopefully can last for 10 to 15 years of golden years. Sounds so simple huh?  To be honest it's painful to execute this on your own. Especially, when I choose to be single and handle this on my own. I bought the wrong measurement curtain rod and blinds. Aihhhh! me and my sucks in measurements skills. My dream to have all the gold plating lightings and end up with a chrome one due to my twisted eyes when ordering online. Damn!

If everything go according to my plan, I will start living there in June. Hopefully can do some video and share it on my youtube channel. 

Yeah! this is a rant post. I have concerns in my heart that I need to pour it out. This is in the only space, I could think of. I am feeling thrilled and at the same time afraid of the new environment. I know this relocation is for my own good and mind peace too. I hope can have a proper night sleep and be calmer. Hopefully, I can get back my confidence, bright and cheerful personality out again. I can do this!